btw, I like that shirt that says instant sinner and saint. It is slightly expensive though

My time spent in the Pentecostal and Charismatic circles did much damage to my faith. I had to totally change the way I looked at things. What is “alive” or “dead?” False miracles and false prophecies that don’t pan out, and cause me to doubt God and question my faith, that is real death, even if the “worship” is “exciting.” People who “who move in the Spirit” powerfully, but exhibit about as much fruit of the Spirit as your average fence post, causing disillusionment and disgust with the church and other Christians, that is death. Old people who quietly and humbly gather to hear Christ’s Word and take the Lord’s Supper, that is real life, even if the worship appears impoverished or boring. Average people who catechize each succeeding generation into the faith, grounding them in the basics of the Christian life, that is real life. What appears to be dead is often God’s most powerful work. (Like Jesus dying on the cross—outwardly, to everyone observing, it looked like a complete failure on God’s part—yet it was the pinnacle of His work in the salvation of the world.)

Try to find a Lutheran Church that takes its ministry seriously and attempts to do a good job with the Liturgy. (At least with the Liturgy, you will hear God’s Word, and pray for those things that Jesus and the Apostles told us to pray for and about, even if the Pastor’s sermon is terrible.) Sit and listen, let the Word minister to you, look for the good in it and let your faith be strengthened. Hang in there. We are praying for you.

Thanks for the kind words. Those were some dark and miserable days for many of us, during a time in our life that should have been full of hope and the expectation of a bright future. I’m sorry that happened to us, and in many ways still grieve it, but I now have a great deal of peace in my life. My hope is that you and my other friends that were there have found some also.

Our mutual friend prompted me read your blog about the “old college” days that we all shared. I understand and acknowledge so many of the things you had to say. I am happy that someone has been able to give voice to what I feel so many of us were experiencing under the tutelage of those who claimed to know “God’s will” and were so quick to shape us into their image and practice of religiosity. That was soooooooo long ago and yet when I read your words, it all came back to me. All the confusion and guilt associated with not knowing what the will of God was and then the guilt of knowing that I could never live up to the rules and regulations being promulgated by those in spiritual authority over us. Thank you for giving voice to this.

That being said, please do not let an apparent hypocrite discourage you from hearing the Gospel. There are people like you described in every denomination. Also, even if you disagree on several points, if there is a church that proclaims the Gospel clearly, park yourself there until you figure things out or find a place with which you are in more agreement.
Use your Catechism, read through and pray the parts you can agree with, and study the parts you don’t. At least you will be exposing yourself to the Word.
We live in tough times and the Church in general is in a bad way. Many of us struggle with church situations that are less than optimal. Hang in there.

Peace

Part of me sort of wishes to go back to the Lutheran church. I have a catechism but I do not accept a few things in it ie infant baptism.
Also, I used to work with a guy who had a mouth like a sailor. I visited the church I grew up in with my dad and found this man as an usher, I was shocked!

For now, I am on a raft just drifting out there in a sea. Crying inside over what mainstream Christianity has become and wonder where my place in the kingdom on Earth really is……..